Why forgiveness is so freaking hard

Why is forgiveness so hard for us? When we need it the most, it seems physically, mentally, and spiritually impossible.

Here are the four insane reasons the Ego mind keeps us far away from forgiveness: 

Insanity #1: We haven't forgiven ourselves

A Course in Miracles says, "As you only condemn yourself, so do you forgive only yourself." This is the deep inner work. If we weren't so hard on ourselves, we wouldn't be so hard the world. What is unhealed in me I am seeing projected out into the world. 

When I practice being so gentle with myself and when I practice forgiving myself in realtime, all day long, I replace my fear energy with the energy of Love. In that transformation, condemnation ceases and forgiveness is possible. 

The truth: The world is my mirror and is presenting my inner world and my inner work back to me. (Click to tweet it) 

Insanity #2: We think we are separate

The illusion of separation keeps us in blame. We think we need to blame the 'other' person. In these very human moments, we project our anger, guilt, and shame outward and we direct that energy onto the person who represents our own shadow self. We give our power away so that we don't have to own up to our deep inner work.

The irony is, we think it's easier to blame, but we actually swallow the poison that we are trying to serve to the other person. 

When we remember that we are not separate from one another, but rather manifestations of the same divine source, we realize the truth that We are One. 

The truth: I cannot blame you without also blaming myself because there is no separation between you and me. 

Insanity #3: We've forgotten all of our relationships are our Divine Teachers

You are my teacher. How do I know who my teachers are? They are the people in my life right now. Anyone and everyone whose shown up in your energetic space is here by divine order. Random is not real. 

The truth: When we remember our Teachers have arrived, we open our hearts to the lessons we need to learn to evolve into the highest expression of our Self. 

Insanity #4: We think we are capable at cutting people out of our lives

'Cutting out' is the Ego's way of organizing someone under the belief that we are separate. As we know now, we are not separate. This is not possible.

Just as we cannot condemn another without condemning ourselves first, we cannot cut another person out of our lives without rejecting a piece of ourselves. This is important to distinguish here: We can create healthy boundaries in a toxic relationship and practice forgiveness at the same time. We don't need to stay in an unhealthy relationship to practice forgiveness. 

DISCLAIMER: If a relationship is built on a foundation of fear or Ego, applying these spiritual principles will likely transform the terms and structure of your relationship as it is right now. 

The truth: I am capable of forgiving even the worst of my perceived enemies because I know I  am healing myself in the process.

Have feelings? Share your thoughts, feedbacks, questions, and struggles in the comments below! Let's talk it out.